I read the New York Times online every day, well, almost every day. Today's issue had a great article about a British woman named Diana Athill, who recently wrote an essay in London's The Daily Telegraph about her experience moving into "an old person's home." Ms. Athill is 92 years old. You can read the article here:
Several things struck me in this article. First is her observation regarding material things.
“Everything, from the carpet to the biscuit tin and including of course the too-many pictures, ornaments and books, is here because, however uninteresting it might be to others, I love it,” she wrote. “It’s as though ‘possessing’ has been distilled down from being a vague pleasure to being an intense one. Less is more.”
As someone who recently cleared out a ton of stuff, I can tell you that it's very difficult to prioritize levels of attachment to things! It's as though there's an on/off switch and you either love something SO MUCH or you don't care for it at all. And I love too many things too much. Having said that, I did "sacrifice" and I mean that literally, in our cleanout and now I can't even remember what I used to have! So what's up with all the "stuff" we think we can't live without?
Second is this comment by the interviewer:
People tend to tell Ms. Athill that she is an inspiration, a word that gives her the willies. But her matter-of-fact, hopeful depiction of life as an elderly woman presents an encouraging antidote to the accounts of writers like Philip Roth, with their self-pitying fetishization of physical decline.
Do you think that men are more concerned with physical changes than women are? I don't know about that, having just had several long conversations during my girls' weekend about the very subject of physical changes. And I know that I personally am not happy with what I see is a diminution in my physical condition. But I'm coming to accept it, I guess. What choice do I have?
The last thing that piqued me is her comment that she likes her own company. I'm coming to understand how important that is. Since I quit working, I spend a lot more time alone. I've made several new friends and I do lots of things, but I still end up doing something on my own quite often. That old cliche is right: your most important relationship is with yourself.
Wouldn't it be fun to read Ms. Athill's books and then get together to discuss them?
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